Dear Doctor Love
by gaarafan
Summary: What do you think if Gaara No sabaku is a DJ? And his program is all about making an advice about love?..hehehe... R&R pls..
1. Chapter 1

Hehehe.. This story pup up in my mind when i was in a mall thinking about our radio in our house hehehe.. I wish you would love it..

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Dear Doctor LoVe..

It's already 7:30, the lights are on and the mic is ready to use.. It's time to broadcast a new radio show at 7:30..

This is RXXX13.. The No.1 station in Konoha..

(And then a commercial slow music played..)

The music…

How could you come with me

When you knew all along that you had to go

How could you watch me sleep

So close to you

The feelings..

My heart, has a mind of it's own!

The harmony..

naki taku natte nige taku natte

shiawase o wasure teu shimatta ra mina utae

hikari ga umare yami ga umare ta futatsu wa hitotsu

HARUMONIA

The love..

Dear… Dear… how do you pronounce this? (cold voice)

Catch Gaara every evening at 7:30 giving love quotes to all broken hearted..

( A slow music played )

Gaara (with a cold voice)

Dear doctor love,(ewww…) or can I say, Gaara.. (who cares)

My name is Uzumaki Naruto, wel, Im jus da one ho wil b the futur hokage at Konohagure.. ( hmph!.. I don't even care) Anyways, a writ a leter for u becouse, yor pogram says dat yor giving sum advice for da broken hearts. En im one of dem.. sob.. My prob is, I hav a krush name Sakura en everyting dat I do jus to meak her lok at me en apriciat me is not working at al!! en she even knocks me or punch me! Wat wil I do Gaara? How wil I meak me apriciat me? How…… how…….. HOWWWW!!!!!!…

Yor's,

Uzumaki Naruto….

Well Naruto, it is truly that this is my program and I gave advices to all broken hearted.. Well that truth is.. I NEVER WANT TO DO THIS SHIT PROGRAM!!… It's just my sibling Temari who makes me do it, she told me that she will brought my teddy bears, specially teddy, to the garbage and burn them… SHE IS A VERY SHIT-BITCH-CRUEL SISTER OF MINE!! Any ways, my advice to you is……. to die.. Go to the highest mountain and then rope your neck through the highest tree then JUMP OFF!!! Or if it doesn't even affected you; pick some kunai then STRUKE YOURSELF!! The more you struck, the more you'll have a percent to die.. But before you do that, enroll yourself into a "Good Spelling and Grammar" school to make you "IDIOCY" low..

(Then Gaara picked another letter)

Our second letter is from Hinata Hyuuga,,(cold voice)

De-de-de-dear Gaara,

We-well, Ho-how ar-are yo-you? Lo-long ti-time n-no ca-ca-care si-si-sin-since yo-you we-we-went ba-back to Su-Su-Suna.. I wro-wrote a le-le-let-lett-letter be-be-becau-because I ha-have a-a pro-problem.. I ha-ha-have a cru-crush..we-well hi-his a sec-secret b-but I-I'll gi-give yo-you a-a hi-hint……. He li-like ra-ramen… (blush) I-I li-like hi-him ve-very mu-mu-much bu-but, e-every-everytime I se-se hi-him, I-I al-always fa-faint an-and ge-get sh-shy.. Wh-what wi-will I d-do? Ho-how wi-will I te-tel-tell hi-him tha-that I-I li-like hi-him wi-with-without fa-fain-fainting?

Tru-trully yo-yours,

Hyuuga Hinata

Well Hinata… I'm not Okay, as you see, I'm here reading some stupid letter and giving some advice, while my Sister Temari is outside the record room kidnapping my teddy bear and SHE EVEN PUT SOME TAPE ON IT!! Anyways, my advice to you is to… die… Go where Neji is and ask him to use his jutsu to you and Die!! Well, if you don't want to, just go to a drug store and buy some triple-X medicine just not to make you faint and die without knowing it… And before you do all of those things, go to a " Good Grammar" school or just went their with Naruto just to increase your grammar and spelling… Beside, Naruto is your crush!! It's not a big ProBlem!!

Okay, for a meantime, here is my song for you two.. The Title is The Ghost Of You"by My Chemical Romance.. Well I hope you spear your hearts in this song..

(Then the song played..)

lyrics 

I never said I'd lie and wait forever  
If I died, we'd be together  
I can't always just forget her  
But she could try

(Meanwhile: Gaara:Temari!! YOU!! Don't do that to Teddy or, oR!!!

Temari: Or what? )

At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever ever...  
Ever...

(Gaara: Or I'll rip out our Shikamaru into pieces!! Or

But Temari went mad and take a kunai to rip Teddy…

Gaara: NOOO!!! TEDDYYY!!!!!)

Get the feeling that you're never  
All alone and I remember now  
At the top of my lungs in my arms she dies  
She dies

At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? should I?  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me  
(Gaara: Okay!! I just flash him into the Toilet…

Temari: …. Pointing the kunai at Teddy..

Gaara: NOOOO!!!!!)  
If I fall  
If I fall (down)

(Gaara: OKAY you won!! JUST DON't HURT TEDDY!! I'll do anything!!

Temari: Just Finished your work..)

At the end of the world  
Or the last thing I see  
You are  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
And all the things that you never ever told me  
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me  
Never coming home  
Never coming home  
Could I? Should I?  
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me  
For all the ghosts that are never gonna...

(The music ended)

Gaara: sniff.. sniff.. I hate my Life… Well… this is the end of all… sniff… Love is DREADFUL!!

(And a Slow song started)

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Well... R&R pls.. If you wish to continue it...


	2. Chapter 2

wuh!! Well, i think some of my humor are stocked. well this is just a of my humor.. Well, thanks for some reviews specialy to the one who suggested me this.. QueenfHK13 right? okay, how you fall out laughing..

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_Don't try to live so wise._

_Don't cry 'cause you're so right._

_Don't dry with fakes or fears,_

_'Cause you will hate yourself in the end._

_Cause you will hate yourself in the end.._

The 6:00 evening show has ended and the time was already 7:30.

This is RXXX13 making your evening full of love..

Then a slow song started to played.. (The song is sounded like the piano intro music of Heaven sang by Dj Sammy..)

_Dear Gaara,_

_Hi, how are you now? I'm surprised, well every one of us was surprised that you have an evening show here in RXXX13. Isn't it great! Now that your not just a Kazekage but your also a Dj in a very very popular station here in Konoha.._ (Great!?)_ Remember when we save you from the Akatsuki? We were still worried about you even now but I think you're Okay now. Well back to the porpose of my writing, you see, I have a problem Gaara. The problem is, I can't feel my heart! No, it's not what you think Gaara. I wouldn't take out my heart and I wouldn't make a scar on my body to feel it with my hand. It's inside my body Gaara, that's why I will know if it is in there or not. Yes, my heart is in their Gaaara but the thing is, I cannot feel it! The beat, the pulse.. Sigh.. Gaara I feel, empty, broken, loss.. I don't know what to do Gaara, I feel like I'm nothing! Nothing without him! Empty without him! Loss without him! Broken because of him. I love him very much Gaara but, he leaves me, he left me alone in that.. In that placed crying, and broken. _(How long this **FcI&#**ng letter?)_After that, I tried to forget him. I concentrated to my studies in medicine. I work harder and harder. I almost forget him Gaara, but the future can't tell what's going to happen to you. One day when Naruto, Sai, our former leader Yamato and me went to Orichimaru's hide out destiny begin to move. I saw him Gaara, I saw him.. Looking at me from the cliff that he was standing. After that insident, my heart started to cry again and broken again.. What will I do Gaara? Do I have to forget him? But, how will I forget him? Help me Gaara, Help me.._

_Sincerlly your's,_

_Haruno Sakura_

Then the sound of the folded letter was heard and a can that was rolling after that. Then a cold voice was heard.

"What a lloooooonnnnnngggg letter is that?! Well for the first question that you have ask me Sakura, the answer is, I'm NOT OkAy!! WHY?!! Because of this stupid show! It is a pain in the NECK!! Well, instead of going to my office and just signing letters their and WaTchinG mY! FavoriTe TelLeTabiES anD playing with TEDDY And DoLLY!!! I'm here wasting my time doing some StuPiD RadIO SHOW!!! KanKuRO!! ThaT is MY CANDY!! Where was I? Oh yeah, well I'm surprised that your heart was in there. I taught that someone steal it or took it off that's why you can't feel it. Well is it true that it is still there? My suggestion is that you must make surely first that your heart, is in there. Well you have concluded my suggestion, that you just took some kunai then pierce it in your body then after you take it out, took your hands inside your body just to make sure that it is in there. But if you said that it is in their then, be it.. Empty? Broken? Loss? Are you sure you have eaten well everyday? Well, you must eat good and well foods just to make sure that you're not empty. You know, full of energy! Stomach is not aching because it is full. Am, Broken? Did you break something in your body parts? Well, be carefull next time. Loss? Well you must look on your map, map is an important thing in a mission so that, you can't be loss. Hey, what Bullshit is that Temari?" (Temari was leaning on the glass mirror out side the room where Gaara was, with a cardboard where she wrote a note "READ THIS"for Gaara). "She is not mentioning an empty stomach, a broken body parts or Lossing a direction when going on a mission! She is mentiong about her HEART!! Her FEELINGS!! YOU DOBE!! Oh! Wait let me get the letter.." (A sound of a can and a folding paper was heard on the radio. After 5 minutes of silence, Gaara spoke again.) "Oh! Your right, but who is HiM?! Orochimaru? Don't tell me that HiM is Sasuke-JERK!! Men, my advice for you is to forget him. He is such a coward; he didn't even finished our fight and he even join ORIcHIMARU!! The LEgEnDARY GAY SennIn!! My God, is he a Gay? Men.. If you can't forget about him then, KILL HIM!!! If you can't kill him then, join him!! That will be a very sweet and romantic story even if his gAY! But, if his gay then, KILL HIM!! Well, if you can't join hima and Kill him because his a gay, then, rape him!! Tell him your pregnant!! If you can't do all of it, then you have no choice but to kill yourself.. Or just Kill him then Kill yourself.. It will be again, a romantic story.. You, and Sasuke die holding hands because of love. Man, you will be the Romeo and Juliet of the ninja world.. How sweet."

Then a folded paper was heard while Gaara was speaking.

"Our Next sender was a special one. Why it is special? Because it is written HERE!! It says "VIP" meaning, VERY IMPORTANT PERSON. Hey Kankuro, do you know who send this? " (Kankuro nodded his head with 'NO'.) "No?! Is he or she a person, or a chicken? It's kind of a chicken writing here? Are you sure animals are not allowed to send a letter here?" (Kankuro nodded his head again with 'NO') "No?! Men, then Akamaru can send a letter?" (Kankuro nodded his head with 'MayBe') "Well, let see.."

_Dear Gaara,_

_Are you really Gaara? If you are how are you doing? Well, I'm surprised to know that you're a kazekage now and a Dj. Well, I just wanna know, how make a tomatoe salad, your sister told me that your goood in making it. Well, just send it to my email address; or yours,_

_Uchiha Sasuke_

_P.S. I'm not a gay and I'm not a chicken dobe. When I have finish killing my brother let's fight again.._

"Well, that's how you explain the writing. First of all, yes I'm Gaara and No, I'm not OKAY!! Why is EvEryBODY surprised iN this Fc& ng SHOW!!! Men, your all weird!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well, Sasuke, I'm also surprised that you have written a letter for my show. But the problem is; THIS IS NOT A COOKING SHOWS!! ThiS iS for The HEART BroKENS!! Okay!! And, I'm not Making A SALAD!! Their SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! DisCusTIng!! Cake is my specialty.. If you want, I'll give you the recipe of TOMATOE CAKE… So, you're not a gay huh, and you're not a chicken? Did I said that you're a chicken?! And doN'T Call Me a DOBE!! YOU CHICKEN!! Hmph.. I'll be waiting for you.. "

"Well, for a meantime, this is my song for you two. It's titled was, My Famous Last Words by My Chemical Romance.."

When a slow song was heard.

"Hey, that is not my chemical RomANCE!! That is-" When Temari pull out some candy and started to unwrapped it. " NO!!! Okay, you won again…" Gaara then read the sentence that is written in the cardboard that was Temari's holding " This is Someday by Nina..This song is dedicated specially for Haruno Sakura.. Sasuke.. You're a jerk.."

_Someday you'll gonna realize  
One day you'll see through my eyes  
But then i won't even be there  
I'll be happy somewhere  
Even if i can't_

(Gaara: "Give me that Back!!" grabbing the candy at Temari.)

_I know  
You dont really see my worth  
You think your the last guy on earth  
Well i've got news for you  
I know i'm not that strong  
But it won't take long  
Won't take long_

(Gaara: "The crunchy, creamy, sweet, delicious candy in SUNA!! WALLS!!" then Gaara start to bit the candy in a slow motion, making himself flirting with the candy.)

_Chorus_

_Coz someday, someone's gonna love me  
The way, i want you to need me  
Someday, someone's gonna take your place  
One day i'll forget about you  
You'll see, i won't even miss you  
Someday, someday_

(Kankuro: "Men, your crazy Gaara. You look like a pervert.")

_But now  
I know you can't tell  
I'm down,and i'm not down anyway  
But one day these tears  
They will all run dry  
I won't have to cry  
Sweet goodbye_

(Gaara: "where is the Mershe?" Looking at Temari and Kankuro.)

_Chorus_

_Coz someday, someone's gonna love me  
The way, i want you to need me  
Someday, someone's gonna take your place  
One day i'll forget about you  
You'll see, i won't even miss you  
Someday, someday_

(Temari: "You leave it remember?" Gaara: " Oh yeah! I leave it because of Teddy and Dolly. Hehehe.. " Temari: "………")

The door was heard then, Gaara started to speak.

Gaara: "Okay, that is a VERy vomiting song. Well, I hope you enjoy listening. Love is like Romeo and Juliet.. Yeh, right..hehehe.."

(Then a slow music start to play.)

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Well,i think.. that's it.. Review pls for the next one.. Well, i think my mind was saying something for the next chap..Hope so... R&R.. 


End file.
